Thoughts..

So we went to church again this week. It was great because Regan was with us too. Ellie was leaning against me as usual and I was hugging her a lot like usual. I finally whispered, "When Ayana comes, will you still cuddle with me like this?" She whispered, "Of COURSE!" With a big smile, and further snuggling to get closer. "I'm glad," I said, welling up, "I would be really sad if you didn't not want to cuddle with me anymore." She said, "Why wouldn't I?" Like DUH! It was so sweet. I put my hand on her forehead and she said, "What are you doing that for?" I said, "I'm praying for you." "Why?" I said,"For your safety and health on our trip." She looked up with those georgous hazel eyes, "Thanks Mom. Thanks for praying for me." I had one arm around her and my other hand holding Regan's and I just thanked God for my wonderful family, and that we return safely home. Later when church was almost over Ellie looked up and said, "I hope we don't die on the plane or get a sickness" (I swear I never said a word!) And Regan said with a big smile and a pat on her shoulder, "That's a really good thing to hope for!" And we all laughed. After church Ellie and I went to Super store to get her some new track pants for the trip. She was chatting away, and I was picking out some mits for Ayana because I can't find any of Ellie's old baby ones. She then started picking out little shoes for her and then tried to find a matching pair for herself. She had no luck. But she did insist I get this tiny pair of red shiny shoes for Ayana because they look like the magic shoes from Wizard of Oz. "They are so cute, Mom!!" I asked her if she would let me take a picture in Ethiopia of her and Ayana in thier matching outfits we got ages ago, "Of COURSE Mom! She's my sister for heaven's sake!!" Okay, stupid question. We then got into a big discussion on the way home about how Ayana and Ellie are sisters only to each other. Ayana (at least right now) has no other siblings, and neither does Ellie. That Ayana was an only child like Ellie, and now they are brought together. She really liked that, and I could tell she had never really thought about it like that before. The majority of questions and discussions we have are how old will Ayana be when Ellie is ..fill in the blank. We do a lot of that. How old will Ayana be when I am 14, or 10 or 16. And she figured out that when she is 16 Ayana will be almost 9 and she could drive her to places! And she said that she could help her. She also asked me what she should do if she got teased that she has a black sister. Or what if someone teased Ayana. We have talked about this before but not for a very long time. I asked her what she would say? Before she had said she would tell people that she is my sister and it doesn't matter what color her skin is! And that is basically what she said now, but she understands that the world is complicated sometimes. I told her that we will make sure that Ayana feels great about herself and that she can always talk to Ellie when she is older and Ellie said she could help her if she was getting teased. It warmed my heart so much. What big thoughts our 8 year old girl is having! I cannot imagine how much her mind is whirling right now!

Now we are hanging out back at home and I am feeling better about travelling. Now I am just hoping we get the call that the visa is in the pouch and in the KL reps hands. I will breathe a humungo sigh of relief! I promised myself I was going to do no packing or try not to think about things we have to do. So far so good. Okay, so I bought swim diapers and have been asking the yahoo group some questions... small baby steps!

Have a great rest of your Sunday!