And again...

A few days ago at Ellie's softball game a mother that was there asked me if Ayana was adopted. I was not surprised, only that I hadn't been asked that in awhile. ANYway, this "mother" (I use quotes because this Mom was a piece of work. I mean REALLY. She openly humiliates and berates her 7 year old daughter LOUDLY at softball, and allows her 3 year old son to go BY HIMSELF to a park nearby the field, but when I say nearby I mean not nearby as in she could actually SEE him, not to mention that her back is turned, and let's say he fell.. she would have to RUN to get to him and even running full tilt it would take a good hunk of time. And if someone is at the park you can't hear them even if they are yelling.. in other words it's FAR. But whatever.) ANYway, I digress. She then started in on the usual litany of totally intrusive questions which drives me nuts. Her first question was unreal, and I QUOTE:

"So, why did you guys adopt, just because?" she asks while shrugging.

I was so stunned that I didn't even really hear her till I was already answering with my standard answer. We tried to have another baby blah blah blah. But she didn't stop there, no sirree.

"Where's she adopted from?" "Why didn't you adopt from here?" Because it's NOT AS EASY FOR A 40 SOMETHING COUPLE TO ADOPT A BABY DOMESTICALLY THAT'S WHY MORON!!!

On and on and fricken on. She was relentless. When she asked about Ayanas "mom" that's when I shut her down. "We don't talk about that, it's private. It's her story to tell."

" Oh, I just mean, do you keep in contact with her? Why did she give her up?" DIDN'T I JUST TELL YOU IT WAS PRIVATE????!!!

So I finally walked away to join Ayana and Regan in the park. When I came back, more questions.

I vowed on the way home that I will NOT ALLOW ANOTHER STRANGER TO ASK ME SUCH PERSONAL QUESTIONS EVEN IF THEY ARE CURIOUS. Just because a person is curious does not give them the right to know these things. What is it about adoption that makes people think they can do this???!!! For instance, I don't ask her why she has her 3 year old son have an earring in one ear?? Seriously. Who does that??

Fast forward to last nights game. I sat far away from her. But at the end of the night she came up all smiles. I was ready, though. But her questions were more of "So is it hard to to her hair?" This I don't mind. We chatted about it. She then says, "I hope she likes her hair when she grows up." What a WEIRD THING TO SAY??!! So I said that she will and that we tell her all of the time how beautiful her hair is.. which is totally is, by the way. Then her 7 year old daughter pipes up. "You adopted her?" Yes. "Why is her skin brown?" Which I totally thought was really cute. Her mom looked mortified! I just said, "Because she is from Africa, isn't that neat? And that's the color of many peoples skin in Africa." "Mom, what's adopted?" And her mom looked at me like, Yikes! what do I say? I actually really warmed up to her at this moment. She answered with a great answer, and then the daughter didn't quite understant still,k who can blame her, it's a complicated subject. I told her that she grew in someone elses tummy. "How come you don't have your OWN baby?" And then I told her she WAS my baby but she just grew in someone elses tummy. And then the mom said that again that she WAS MY baby. It was pretty cute. Then Ellie came up and the little girl says to her, "I wonder what she is going to say in highschool when she realizes that she has the wrong mom?!" That's when I had to step in and say, "I am her mom, just like your mom is your mom. She was too little to know her other mom." I can only imagine the questions this mom is going to have over the next few days!

Anyway, it was exhausting. Unless a person is GENUINELY interested in adopting internationally I am now going to REFUSE POLITELY any intrusive and quite frankly rude questions. That's IT.

Okay, I'm off my soap box now.


Have a great day!