So, after reading about 1/2 of this brand new book on international adoption, I am feeling A LOT better about things. A big factor in attachment is eye contact. And I took mental note this AM on how many times Ayana and I make eye contact. It was a ton. And she actively seeks out my eyes. And I feel much more relaxed after reading everything, that even if there are issues, that with help we will get better. And since I am more relaxed, low and behold for probably the first time EVER Ayana did not FREAK OUT when her Dad walked in the room this morning. I was sitting beside her at the table, and she was very calm. Regan kept his distance which helped, but she smiled at him. And then later after he got dressed for work and I was in the tub (Ayana was playing in the bathroom) he walked in and she again did not freak out. It was amazing. When he was brushing his hair she came up and wrapped her arms around his leg and hugged him for a long time. Not to say there has been this miraculous transformation over night. But with my perception of her shifting, it has taken the pressure off of both of us. A lot of how she is behaving is probably due also to the fact that I had such a tough time when she first came home. I talked about it before, and likely she sensed that all was not right in the house, you know? And with Regan working and her seeing him at completely unpredicable times definately adds to her stress. So I'll let you know how it goes with the inlaws! speaking of which I must get to the housecleaning, they'll be here in just a few hours!
Thanks for all of your support! I'll keep you all posted daily on how it's going with that whole thing.
Oh and PS: I saw the youtube version of the Catie Couric interview with Sarah Palin, and she is the most infamous "dance around the question" type person. Mind you, some of the questions Catie was throwing at her about specifacs, to me, was trying to shine the spotlight on her ignorance. Anyway, it was awesome. McCain is a lot like her, talking around and around the issues. I am just watching bits and pieces of the presidential debate with my inlaws and he keeps dodging the question.
Have a great day!
PS Ayana LOVES her Oma and Opa... it's just awesome!
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2 comments:
Hey here's a tip I didn't think of yesterday it was given to us by our SW. If you know when Regan is coming prep Ayana for it. eg, you are upstairs with her and you know that Regan is coming say to her "I hear Daddy coming? Where is he? Oh, look! There's Daddy!!"
Or if you have a heads up that he's coming home from work say "Daddys coming home from work. Let's go look out the window and see if his cars here?" etc. you get the idea.
Sometimes Grant gives me a call on his way home and so Sofia and I wait at the window (or on the front porch) for him to come home. She now goes to the window at various times of the day and looks for him. Also in the morning when he goes to work I get her to go to the window/door and wave goodbye to him (buh-bye Dada)
Her comprehension is so much more than I ever could have imagined. I think talking to her like this has made a big difference.
Yes, I do that already. I always explain when Daddy or whomever else is going to be coming in, etc. Thanks for the suggestions though.
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