Sunday Cuteness

So today we just hung out. Ellie, Ayana and I did venture out to Walmart, and then we rushed home to get Ayana down for her afternoon nap. Ellie and I went in the basement to play some wii. Or rather, she played and I watched. She plugged our photo card from our trip into the thing and was doodling all over pictures of us. It was pretty cute, for about the first 3 hours. Anyway, after about an hour and a half of me watching this I told her I was going upstairs for awhile. Mainly because I cannot hear if Ayana wakes up from there. Well, she didn't want me to go upstairs, she wanted me to stay with her. I said, I am going to watch some TV upstairs. She then asked me where the other phone was, and grabbed both phones and marched upstairs. At first I thought she was just going to give me one so she could call me on it (we can use them like intercomms) but then I saw her going towards Ayana's door and I knew what she was thinking. I have a baby monitor, but don't use it, so she was going to us the phone as a monitor. I knew that as soon as she opened the door Ayana would be up and she would probably sleep easily another hour and a half. So I whisper/screamed, "Don't you DARE open that d...." and it was too late, the door opened and Ayana started crying/screaming. So I ran upstairs and picked her up and told Ellie that she is NOT to go in Ayana's room when she is sleeping as she wakes up! And to which Ellie said, "I was only trying to help!" And went in the basement feeling terrible. I felt terrible too. So then I a sitting there feeding Ayana her after nap bottle, and I hear Ellie's voice on the phone that she has placed on the floor around the corner, "Mom, I am really sorry I woke the baby up, I was only trying to help. I'm in the basement in case you want to talk." What a little muffin. Now I didn't get THAT mad at her, really, because I knew that she didnt' mean it, but she really felt bad. So I immediately went down before Ayana was finished her bottle and we hugged and hugged. I told her that it was not her fault, she did not do it on purpose, but she can never open her door when she is sleeping because she wakes up. Unless I ask her too or obviously if there is an emergency of some kind. I then said, "Repeat after me.." And she stood in front of me smiling.."I will not go into Ayana's room when she is having her nap." She repeated. "If Ayana does not have her nap than she gets very cranky." Again, repeated. "If Ayana does not have her nap... then MOMMY gets very cranky!" To which she laughed her head off and we hugged again. We then were in the basement together with the baby crawling happily all over me. I was enjoying being with my girls, but was really still needing some "time" you know, without a baby crawling all over me! So Ellie looked at me from her comfy quilt covered pillow surrounded perch on the couch and said, "Mom, you are going to trade places with me and I will play with her!" I told her to not be silly, and that I was having fun and to just relax. "No, MOM, you ARE going to sit here!" I shook my head and said not to worry. But could she just play with her while I went to the bathroom. "Why wouldn't I??!!" (her standard answer when it comes to Ayana!) So when I got back she just looked at me with a very stern face and pointed at the couch. I laughed and plopped on the couch among the pillows and quilt and Ellie played Lego with Ayana for about 20 minutes! It was ADORABLE!!! She was building all sorts of towers for Ayana, and giving them to her, and showing how stuff worked, and then they played with the Little People farm, and when I said, "Okay, in five minutes we can trade places again." And again, silent stern face with finger pointing at me to stay put. I obeyed. Anyway, she then later said she wanted to get a glass of water could I play with her, and I happily did. It was such a great moment. After supper Ellie asked if her and Ayana could play their bed game before Ayana goes to sleep. She hadn't asked to do that in a while, so it was so nice that they did. They wrestle, and romp, and it is super cute. Ayana was so tired and went straight to sleep at 7. That gave Ellie and I time to put braids in her hair and watch Mystery Hunters together and read and Ellie was asleep by 830. A really good day.

The rest of our homecoming is pretty blurry. The next day we were so tired, crazy tired. Ayana got up in the night and was wide awake, which was pretty normal. It was around 3 and I still hadn't slept yet. I think she went back to sleep around 5. She slept until around 930. I didn't sleep much. The first few days were very difficult. We all were sleeping crazily, and Ellie and I and Ayana were up in the night a lot. Regan too, and he had to work on the Sunday! (We got back on Thur). Ayana was cute, and sweet, and we were getting to know each other. Ellie was a tremendous help. I was pretty overwhelmed with the first week up ahead with getting Ellie to school and her activities and it was windchill of -49. It was scary! But luckily as I said our wonderful friend and neighbor helped, and my parents. But now I think I am up to date.

Life is getting better, but it is still slow in coming. This type of adjustment is very difficult at times. To go from one 8 year old child to adding a crawling 10 month old is very busy and challenging. Throw in some severe PMS and sleep deprevation and you've got quite the nightmare!!! But with the PMS gone, and sleep is happening things are better. Ayana is very funny, and had quite a unique personality which we are getting to know day by day. She is getting to know her Dad finally, and when he is home 24/7 by Friday we will be adjusting all over again! But it will be nice to have someone to play with her while I go to the bathroom or have a shower. She is sweet, and saucy, and beautiful, and darling, and has the most beautiful eyes that follow me whereever I go. I just love that. We make lots of eye contact during the day. If she is in her little excersaucer thingy or in her high chair while I make dinner or do the dishes she is always looking for me. If I go around a chair or something, she cranes her neck to see me again. It is SO CUTE! She crawls all over exploring, but comes back often to have a cuddle on my lap or just play, and then she is off again. All great signs she is attaching beautifully!!!! It warms my heart to know that she trusts me enough to explore and know I will be waiting for her when she comes back. Sometimes it is hard when she is being especially clingy and I literally cannot put her down to put my pants on, or whatever, but I know that that too shall pass eventually and that she is doing all she can to survive in this big world. It is our job to make her feel safe and loved, and that is such a priviledge. I look at her sometimes and wonder if some expressions I see are her birth mothers. I wonder if she looks like her or her birth father. I also think of things she does and wonder what the nannies did with her, and did she learn that from them. One thing she does know is the word "no!". Oh boy, it is surprizing how she reacts to that word!!! She cries and cries!! Even when you pick her up after, she is so upset! I have said it only about 3 times since we have been home (for grabbing wired or something that we stupidly did not baby proof) and she just instantly knows what I mean! And today when I was holding her I was telling Ellie "no" about something she was doing on the wii that she was doing wrong with how to work the thing, and Ayana started with the lip first (you know that sad lip...) and then cried! I had to really try hard to keep from laughing! What a little muffin! She is SO SMART!

I must run and watch the next Season of "Scott Baio". I just love that show.