Part 4

So, where was I..... Oh yes, the first night. So Ayana slept all night, but I really didn't. I kept waiting for her to wake and need me. She did chat a bit to herself, and fussed for a second, but really slept and slept till about 6 am. I think I got up with her, and Regan was already watching TV in the living room where her playpen was (there was no room in our bedroom). We were all very tired as we were still on Calgary time. I gave her a bottle and then we just all 3 enjoyed each others company. Later Mom and Ellie joined us and we went for breakfast. There was a greater selection than the other place, but we were all so tired we hardly noticed. We decided to stay around the hotel that day and just relax. We just spent the day getting to know Ayana. We discovered that she did NOT like getting her diaper changed! Holy Moly! So I would usually go in the bedroom close the door, and I could hear Ellie turning up the sound on the TV video games she was playing. Oh yeah, did I mention that on the TV there they have these crude sort of video games? It was just AWESOME and she discovered it totally by accident. We played the game of chess a lot on the TV together while Ayana napped. It was fun to figure out all the things Ayana could do. She could crawl but she did not like to be on the floor. I realize now that it was likely because she was in a strange place, she only started to want to crawl around here a few days ago. So we were excited when we found out that! She also liked walking around with us holding her hands. She played by herself sometimes in the playpen if I needed to get something done, but definately let us know if she was all done with that. That first day was a big blur due to tiredness. That night we walked around the corner to the Italian restaurant. The food was fantastic! And the waitress grabbed Ayana when she could see I could not eat well with her in the sling, and she walked around with her and the staff all oogled her while I ate. I had heard that they did that, it was so sweet! And of course Ayana totally reached for her. It was sweet, and a little sad, she missed her caregivers I am sure. Again Ayana went to sleep in her playpen and slept the entire night thru. I did not. It was not good. Regan got up with her that second morning, and I came in and joined them and again we had just some quiet time with her. The chanting had stopped as the Timket celebration was over, and we loved looking at the construction site just outside our balcony and watching the workers. It was amazing, they were digging this enormous hole for this new hotel, and they did it all by hand. Not a digger in sight. Then they had these handmade hand held wheel barrow things (with no wheels, but I don't know what else to call them) okay they were more like a little stretcher that 2 people carried. It was like watching an ant farm, I know that sounds weird, but there were dozens of people digging, and then just lines and lines of pairs of people coming in with empty stretchers and leaving with full ones. All day long. And my Mom from her window at the end of the day everyday watched as men and women would change from their construction clothes to their beautiful fancy clothes. She said it was just fascinating to watch! They did it right in the open. Some even had like a cloth and wiped themselves off and then put on fancy dresses and nice clothes as if they were going to an office job! And then they would put their work clothes in a bag and put them away for the next day. Just so amazing. To think that this beautiful hotel we were in was built this way. Mind boggling. Anyway, this day was the day we were going to go touring. We decided that we were going to go to the Museum. The National museum, where Lucy is. When I was in University I studied Anthropology, and am always interested in things like this. So I was very excited when Lucy was found a few years ago, and couldn't believe I was actually going to see her in real life! (click on her name to read about her). Anyway, to say I was overwhelmed and more than a little terrified to go out and about with Ayana was a gross understatement. For one thing she had pretty bad diarreah, and I suddenly had to figure out the logistics of feeding her all day long on the road. We were going to go to the museum, possible the other Historical Ethiopian Museum, and then to the top of the mountain for a look out of Addis. Everyone was like, "Oh yeah! Awesome!" And inside I was like, "Oh yeah! Look at me have a nervous breakdown on no sleep!" But I just plugged away and tried to put on my best game face. I packed formula, rice cereal, plenty of diapers, a change of clothes for Ayana, giant ziploc bags and plenty of wipes. I put her in the Peanut Shell Sling and she settled in and was the best best best baby ever. Just content in the sling all day long, slept, looked around, never ever fussed. The first stop was the museum. I was not feeling well that day for some reason, my stomach was not in good shape. I really did not feel good. So when Solomon called to say that there was a delay in getting a car I was happy. I took some Pepto and laid down until the car arrived. We all went downstairs and walked out of the hotel. The car was a small one. We all looked at it and I just about cried. We had Solomon, a driver, me, Regan, my Mom and Ellie to fit in this little Toyota or something. My Mom said, "I don't have to go." Regan said it was too small. I did not want to offend Solomon, and it was already 1130 and I just thought lets see how we fit. So the driver got in, I got in with Ayana in the sling, my Mom got in the middle and Regan smooshed on the other side. Ellie went to climb on his lap and Solomon said, "No, my dear, you are with me!" And he got in and put her on his lap. She looked a bit scared, but I just smiled and mouthed, "It's okay." I cannot tell you how much I love Solomon. Honestly , I really can't put it into words. I really do. He is like family in a strange way. So he immediately started playing with her hair, and rubbing her head. It was very cute. He mussed it all up and then smoothed it out. I could not see her face so I am not sure what she thought. To be honest I just couldn't stop staring at the fact that her chin was about 2 inches from the dashboard and her forhead inches from the windshield with no seatbelt driving thru the insane heartstopping streets of Addis. It was just unreal. I tried not to think about it. I just really felt for her. "God, please do not kill us today!" I thought. So, we drove to the museum with Solomon telling us about the history of this and that and showing us all of the landmarks. He is a fantastic tourguide! So we got to the museum and suddenly Ellie said she feels really really sick. We got out of the car and her legs were shaking and she said she thought she might throw up. Here I am in Addis with a baby in the sling with diarreah and an 8 year old who needs me practically fainting in front of me. I thought, what are we going to do! I realized then that it was way past lunch and she had hardly eaten anything for breakfast. I said, "You're hungry." "Noooo, Mommmy, I'm not!!! I feel siiiiiiick!!! I feel like I;m going to barf!!!" I pulled out a granola bar. "Here honey, eat this, you are hungry, just trust me. I feel sick too sometimes and shaky when I don't eat." I gave it to her. "I can't, oh, ugh ugh" and on and on. I really felt bad for her. So we went in anyway, I thought maybe it would pass. "Oh look Ellie! Look at this 3 million year old skull! And look!! This is the oldest speck of dust in the universe!!" "My legs are shaking, Mommy I REALLY DON'T FEEEEEL WELL!!" When she starts calling my 'Mommy' I know I'm in trouble. Okay, so I gave the baby to someone, I think Solomon, I don't remember, and picked Ellie up on my hip and took her to the front step. I put her in my arms and gave her the granola bar. "Eat this." "Okay... (sniff, sniff... munch munch)" "Two more bites." (munch munch) And low and behold about 3 minutes later as everyone came out to see how she was doing, her eyes suddenly brightened and she said, "WOW I feel SO MUCH BETTER!!!" And she started joking and laughing and I took the baby and we went back inside to look around at the amazing stuff in this place. We were wondering around happily when suddenly I heard and felt a gurgling bubbly sensation coming from the sling and Ayana's bottom. Then the smell hit. Aaaaallllright then.... I went out back to the bathroom which was very very crude. Okay it was gross. I am sorry, I do not want to offend anyone, but it was. So here I was on the cement floor of this gross bathroom on no sleep feeling sick and changing the biggest smelliest messiest diaper and also her clothes as it had exploded up her back and she is screaming at me and rolling around. Good times. I really felt like I was going to lose it at this point. Noone else could deal with this but me. She wanted me only. Which was awesome, don't get me wrong. But at that moment it was too much. I can't do this. I thought. Oh my God, and am THAT person I have read about... oh my God. Here I am reacting like THIS. I hated myself. So then I went back into the museum and we looked at everything and it really was completely amazing. So then Regan looked at me and was very concerned. I was beyond tired and just completely in over my head. He asked me what I wanted to do. I asked Solomon how long it would take to get to the mountain. He said 20 minutes. He said he could have us up the mountain and back to our hotel in an hour. An hour... I can do that. So we piled into the car again and up we went up the mountain. There are no guardrails and it was pretty hairy. But Ayana was happy as a clam and I know that God completely planned it that way. Anything else and I would have jumped off the side of the mountain. This all sounds dire, but really I think it was mainly exhaustion and just the shock of suddenly having a baby to care for, and not a newborn who needs ... well you know... a boob and some diapers. This little one needed so much more and needed it from me. And only me. So we stopped half way up and got out of the car. We kept waaay to the side of the road because we were literally frightened to death of being hit by a car or bus or truck. The smell was georgous. Apparently Eucalyptus trees were planted in Addis from Australia and you could smell them everywhere. Along with burning wood. We stood on the perch of this mountain and Solomon stood and swept his arms wide and took a breath and said in his georgous Ethiopian accent...."This is ..... Addis." We just stood and took in this amazing city. I said to him, "Solomon, you have a beautiful city. I just love it." And I meant every word. I have a great picture of my Mom, the back of her as she has her hand up shielding her eyes from the sun looking over the city. My Mom in Africa. I'll never forget that moment as long as I live. And there is another one of Ellie standing in front of Solomon, and he has his arms lovingly wrapped around her, and they are both overlooking the city. Africa. We are here. And meanwhile this little georgous baby is still happy as a clam. Are clams happy? I'm not sure, but this little clam was. We took a bunch of pictures and made sure Solomon was in some. He said, it was so cute, he said, "Everyone take picture of me, but they never send me! You MUST send me! Everyone take picture take picture but never ever send me!" So we promised we would. He just shook his head, he didn't believe us. We then continued on to the top of the mountain. There there was a big church and a museum of the church. By this time I was so done, but I wanted to take in as much as I could as I knew I would regret it. So we paid a ridiculous amount of money to enter this tiny museum, but Ellie, my Mom and Regan just loved it. It was small, but the relics were amazing! So we were wandering around and suddenly... sniff... guess whaaaatt!!! I look at everyone with what must have been desperation because I got a group shot of sympathy from everyone. "Where can I change the baby?" I patted the offending body part. So I was directed to a guard, who then took me out back to a padlocked shed. To this day I have no idea WHY they would have to put a padlock on this thing because when I stepped inside it was basically a porcelien hole in the ground and pretty gross cement surrounding it. There was a large barrel of water in the corner which I am assuming you use to "flush" your deposit. I looked around. Once again I took the recieving blanket I had brought to swaddle my precious baby and gingerly placed it on this disgusting cement floor. I then placed said baby screaming her head off at me on it. Only to discover that it was a false alarm. THANK GOD because I did not have another change of clothes. We then left there and walked around the large church as we were not allowed to go in. I realized Ayana had not eaten and was getting fussy. Where am I going to feed her a bottle? I am on the deck of this church where people are prostrating themselves and everyone is whispering. Would that be offensive? I finally just asked Solomon if I could feed Ayana right there and I sat on a little cement block and fed her her bottle. I was tired. I didn't want to be there. I wanted to be back at the hotel with water and soap and changes of clothes for the baby. But then Solomon took us behind the church to what looked like a little village. We were all a little freaked out, it seemed strange to go way behind and people were sitting around staring. The only one that wasnt' freaked out was Ellie. " This is GREAT, wow this is so cool! " Everything was great or cool or amazing. God love her! So we then got to see where the emporor lived. This was actually very cool and great and amazing. The buildings are all empty but perfectly preserved with english signs explaining what every room is. It was very neat, and there were some local boys coming close and just being sweet, and there were other people having a tour, and it was very very cool. I liked that. Once we saw that it was time to go. We were all ready to go back to the hotel. We were tired and hot and had had a good site seeing day. Oh, and I forgot to mention that when we got to the church Regan noticed that the tire on our car was completely flat. Flatso. Dead. Gone. Ellie said in a bit of a screech, "Are we going to be able to GET BACK???!!" I, with much difficulty supressed the screechiness in my voice said, "Of course, honey, of course." And I looked at Regan with hysteria as he asked the driver if he had a spare. He did. And by the time we got back to the parking lot it was fixed and we were ready to go. Or were we. The false alarm finally produced results and I looked at Solomon and said, "Can I change the baby right here?" He looked at me funny and said yes. Regan said, "Why don't you do it in the car, honey?" Very sweet. What a sweet completely clueless man he was at that moment, God love him. "Honey," I said, "Ayana gets upset and freaks out when I change her, do you really want to have this nice mans car smeared with poop?" So Regan joined me on the cement in the middle of the parking lot with Ayana a top the recieving blanket. He held her head. Regan really was a hero this whole trip. I couldn't put it any plainer. And my Mom of course. But Regan really held it together. I mean he was a complete rock in every way ALL of the time. I expected him to crack but he never ever did. He wasn't getting much sleep either, and really had everything under control. He took good care of us all. I was very proud to be his wife. Still am. (when he's not being an idiot). Anyway, we piled in the car and headed back to the hotel. Regan asked, "The other museum, we're passing right by it!" But I looked at him with this look, I think I have a picture of it, he took a picture of the look. Or one of the looks from that day. I didnt' look good, let me put it that way. So on the way home we stopped by the Sheraton, just cruised the parking lot. WOWEE. That was very nice. We knew that was how we were going to spend our last day. We were excited about that. Anyway, finally we got back to the hotel and we made arrangements with Solomon for me, my Mom, Ellie, Ayana and I to go shopping. I think we said 10am. We got back in the room, and I don't really remember much except I said to Regan, "By the way... we ARE ordering room service." I was really beyond tired. I needed sleep. And Regan agreed to listen out for Ayana, not that she would wake up, but he said he would be there if she did. I was very overwhelmed to say the least. I was so tired and just spent. I felt all these emotions, not the least of which for Ellie. I could barely be there for her as I was busy with the baby. I tried to put my arm around her and pay as much attention to her as I could, but I knew I was falling short. And did I mention I was tired?? So, after Ayana went to sleep, Regan and Ellie were in the bedroom playing chess, I was alone in the dark hotel living room and I promptly went to pieces. I sobbed and sobbed. I finally went down the hall and knocked on my Mom's door. The locks at this hotel are an actual key which are tricky to open and after what seemed like 20 minutes the door finally opened. While she was fumbling with the lock I actually had to laugh at this moment. Here I was on the other side of the door having a full fledged nervous breakdown and my mother cannot open the door! It was so funny, I am laughing outloud remembering it. So funny. When the door opened, there was my Mom. MY Mommy. You know? She looked at me with the Mom face, and opened her arms and I hugged her and cried. I came in and we each sat on a twin bed and I poured out my heart. She was wonderful. I will never ever ever forget what she did for me that night. By the time Ellie came in to look for me, I was much better. I had stopped the hiccuping tears and was feeling a bit better. I knew this happened to people. I knew it could happen to me. I was hoping it wouldn't. "Why are you crying, Mom?" Ellie said. "I'm just really really tired." I said. So I put her to bed and after much medication (not kidding people, I needed SLEEP) I slept like the dead.

This story will continue another day, but I must insert an epilogue right here. As I write this I cannot even begin to describe the universe I am away from this place. I am so in love with this baby right now it is insane. Honestly. I am IN LOVE. I am glowing. I can't stop staring at her, kissing her, making her smile, laugh, feeding her, holding her... LOVE LOVE LOVE!! Regan started late today so he got to see both of his girls, albiet briefly. Ayana went to him, and I even left the two of them to drive Ellie back to school and he did great! Him and I playfully passed Ayana back and forth between us. I feel so sad for him that he is missing so much. Only two weeks left though. Thank God. He is so tired. I can tell he is just so so tired. He's trying to enjoy it, but he's just a zombie. Poor guy. Ellie is in love with Ayana more and more each day. Honestly, it is amazing. But still will say on occasion that she misses just the three of us. I usually will give her a big giant hug, and kiss, and I promise after Ayana goes to bed each night that we will spend time together.. just us. And we always do. We took Ayana to Ellie's class today and Ellie wore her Ethiopian dress and showed pictures, and each student had a picture taken with Ellie and Ayana on her lap. We brought popcorn and I explained that with the coffee ceremony we had popcorn. We served it in an traditional bowl. She was beaming.. I was beaming. We got home and we went to hip hop in Airdrie. I marveled over Ayana and how smart she is! How cute she is!! I marvelled at how grown up Ellie is, how well she remembered her dance moves. We are going to the pool tomorro as Ellie has the day off school. We came home and Ellie and Ayana played for about 2 hours! They were on our big king size bed and Ellie and Ayana were both doing face plants and laughing like crazy. Ellie was pretending to sleep and Ayana was trying to wake her up. Ellie did NOT want Ayana to go to bed. BEGGED for her to stay up. I then got Ayana ready for bed and Ellie wanted to be with us, "I'm your second Mom! " She told Ayana, I said, "Ellie, you're even better, you're her SISTER! You don't have to discipline her much, you just get to have fun!" I told her how much I bragged about her (Ellie I mean) and she got all teary eyed, "Thanks, Mom, that makes me feel good!" Anyway, Ellie wanted to play with her somemore so I left them alone in Ayana's room. Ellie, Ayana and the dog. I shut the door and went to get my own PJ's on. I was washing my face and I could hear Ellie's voice thru the door, "Ayana! Look! Ayana!! Wanna play with that! Look this is what that does! Ayana!" My heart just sang with joy. Ellie even read her two books when Ayana was in her excersaucer. I came back in and firmly said Ayana had to go to bed. "Awwww... okay." And Ellie hugged and hugged her sister and Ayana practically jumped out my arms leaning waaaay down to hug and kiss her sister, and Ellie said for the 3rd time today, "I LOVE you, Ayana." And kissed her little cheek. Life is good.
Then while I was giving Ayana her bottle, Ellie came in quietly crying. "What's wrong, honey?" I said. She comes over and puts her head on my shoulder and sobs, "I miss DISNEYLAND!!!"

I see.